I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
