I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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