We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
