No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
