can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
