I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
