One girl and one boy is just not enough.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
3 2 1 whiskey
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
