Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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