i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
