You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
