jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
