Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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