i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize