Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
