I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize