well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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