Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm going to jail i love you
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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