Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It's never too late to be topless.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
