My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
