I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
