Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
