Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize