So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
