I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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