Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
