We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
