I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize