But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
