My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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