After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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