I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
