I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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