Can Purell be used as lube?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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