Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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