i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
