Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Randomize
