They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Randomize
