hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
