Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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