It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
