I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
