I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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