Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize