and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
