I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
