When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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