Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
