I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
