You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
