Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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