Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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