Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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