Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
