god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
