Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
