Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
