Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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