how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
