They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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