i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
