My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
