I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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