Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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