So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
