i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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